he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
