clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
