I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
A+ Viking dick
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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