Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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