you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize