I don't remember. Are we still dating?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
