Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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