Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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