Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
