she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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