Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
