I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
