I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
