I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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