my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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