Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
