Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
