and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
