end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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