after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
