last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
