sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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