If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
