i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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