My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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