I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
love makes seman taste better
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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