my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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