This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
