Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
