her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have surprise drugs for everyone
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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