Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
