Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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