I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
her vagine was all disorganized.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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