I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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