Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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