Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
did you just send me my own nude
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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