He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
