coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
