I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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