You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
