She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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