Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
