Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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