i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
