the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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