So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
