Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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