I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize