you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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