hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
