Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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