Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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