it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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