Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
It was confusing and full of hummus
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
