Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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