That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Randomize
