That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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