i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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