Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
