I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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