i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
