what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm having to shit out rocks
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
