if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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