I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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