So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
