Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
