Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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